Another one bites the dust! There goes one more young and talented man from this world…
Nobody knows what was going on in his mind when he took the step to choose death over life…and nobody will ever know. Most people are shocked, as expected, since he was so young, good-looking, had a good career, made good money, and was successful by whatever other standards of success the society measures…and yet, he ended it all in one go.
There are a hundred hypothesis going around about why he did what he did. Was he depressed? Was it because he couldn’t get in the inner circle of Bollywood? Was it because biggies like Karan Johar and Alia Bhatt refused to acknowledge him? Or that recently signed movie contracts were canceled? Was it because of his manager’s suicide a few days earlier? Something to do with his mom’s death early in his life? And on and on it goes….
There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of young people like this who are possibly contemplating the same step right now, even as I write this. And let me ask you, how have you contributed to it?? And don’t tell me you haven’t!! Even though most of us will not be criminally liable for abetment of suicide, I can assure you we all have contributed to someone’s darkness in one way or another..
‘ Why are you depressed? You have everything going for you!’
‘ Stop being a crybaby! Get up and move on with life’
‘ Yeh sab kuch nahi hota, don’t do drama!’
‘ Look at your brother/neighbor/friend/colleague/(insert anyone)..how strong they are.. you should also be strong…’
‘ Think of your parents/child (children)/spouse…what will happen to them? You need to keep going for them’
‘ C’mon, cheer up.. just forget about all this sadness, let’s go for a movie/drink/party/etc…’
‘ There must’ve been some issue with him/her…financial/relationship/drugs, etc…that’s why he/she committed suicide.. otherwise nobody does this!’
‘ Itni si baat pe koi itna extreme step lene ki sochta hai kya? ’
‘ Everyone has problems in life.. what is so bad about your problems? Why can’t you deal with them? We have all dealt with bigger issues…’
AND THE LIST GOES ON……
Now ask yourself if you have never said any of these things to someone who has trusted you enough to share their pain with you…and be honest, please.
‘So what?’, you may ask, ‘I was just trying to help, by encouraging them, or trying to make them see the good things in their life! What’s wrong with that?’ Yes, maybe your intention was right. But, did you acknowledge their pain?? Did you even try to understand what they were going through, before disregarding it completely and jumping to giving unnecessary advice? Did you consider that your trying to compare them to others or yourself would put them down further in their own eyes and mind, when they were already in a well? Are you not guilty of pushing them further into the darkness that pervades their mind at that time?
Now think, if you would say any of those things to a person suffering from abdominal pain, diabetes, high blood pressure, any heart ailment, cancer, any infections, or for that matter even acne or hairfall!!! In all probability, you would suggest to them to go see a specialist. TO GET HELP FOR THEIR PROBLEM.
Attempting or committing suicide is not a small thing. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in young adults in our country. India is the Depression capital of the world! Note that. We are allowing young people to end their lives, which could have been productive, joyful and fulfilling, not just for them, but also for their loved ones. Simply by not acknowledging their pain and their problem. By disregarding it. By deriding them. By judging them. By asking them to ignore it.
What would it take for us to be slightly more sympathetic and empathetic??? A little bit sensitive to someone else’s pain? A little more patient to hear someone out? A little less self-absorbed to see another person’s darkness? A little less egotistic to not be judgmental of others?
I get that not everyone can understand or empathize with a person who is going through tremendous emotional pain. But we can be a little patient to hear them out and ask them to seek professional help. Ask them to not ignore their pain, just as much as you wouldn’t ask them to ignore a constant headache. If you feel incapable of helping, ask your doctor what can be done to help this person.
Let us not allow one more celebrity suicide to go in vain. Sushant Singh Rajput was not personally known to many of us, yet his suicide has affected everyone in different ways. We will never know what made him take this step, but we can make sure that we learn a lesson from this, of not ignoring our own or anyone else’s emotional pain, only to regret it later.
If you or anyone you know is having thoughts of self-harm or going through emotional difficulties of any kind, I urge you to seek professional help. There is tremendous help available, you just need to ask!